Back!, with a vengeance

Oh woe upon us all, His Almighty Squirrelness has been away for what has felt like an eternity to the faithful. He had a bit of a backlog of other universes to create, so had to devote some time to that... curse those string theorists with their multi-dimensional multiverses. Did they ever think of the extra work Squirrelmungous would have to put in when they formulated all these (as yet unproven) theories that demand an infinitude of universes? Evidently not.


But worry not dear acolytes, for he is back and wishes to bestow more of his wisdom upon us.


All hail his furry tailed wonderfulness. ALL HAIL! Amen.


It has come to our great Lord's attention that a number of apostates have dared to question the One True Squirrel. Squirrelmungous cannot abide this any longer and wishes his displeasure to be known amongst the people.

He is particularly incensed by the cult, for want of a better word, of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Squirrelmungous would like you all to know that the FSM is a Giant Fraud (gasp)!

Here are some Squirrelmungous endorsed FACTS about the FSM;

• The FSM did not create the universe.
• The FSM's noodly appendages are not touching the faithful, or manipulating scientific research, or anything else.
• The FSM is a fraud and a charlatan who could no more create the universe than he could pass off as a viable vegetarian meal.
• The FSM has never, not once bought a round in his entire miserable cheapskate existence, and for that reason alone, is no friend of Squirrelmungous.
• The FSM suffers from debilitating and chronic halitosis

However, he acknowledges that the FSM has some pretty impressive merchandise for sale and respects his entrepreneurial spirit.

Here endeth the lesson about the FSM, for now.

Squirrelmungous was thinking about debunking the myths surrounding many of the other false deities, but a lot of their followers have no sense of humour whatsoever, so He's not going to bother at present.