Stuff that's getting on Squirrelmungous's tits- 1

The Lord Squirrelmungous is proper hacked off with a bunch of stuff in the world today, and he wants you to hear all about it.

So, every once in a while he's going to get me to write it down (he's way too busy to do it himself. Plus his claws make a nasty mess of the keyboard and his grammar is, quite frankly, appalling.) He doesn't expect it to make a blind bit of difference - that'd really be asking way too much of his creation after all. But, he needs to let off steam sometimes, otherwise it's out with the lasers and the smiting and so forth and it all gets a wee bit messy.

So, you say, what's upsetting our mighty squirrel creator today?

Here's a little list;

• When FTV says there's going to be 15 minutes of Lingerie at 8.30 and it's NOT ON. That fucks him off big style
• Not being able to find the new Nuts channel on Sky. He's expecting detailed analysis of the relative merits of brazils, macadamias, almonds etc from this channel and he's not happy he can't find it
• Fat people who blame everything in the world - other than the fact that they won't stop shovelling pies into their gobs - for their gross obesity. For fuck's sake JUST EAT LESS and TRY SOME FUCKING EXERCISE
• "100 Greatest Whatever" programmes, "What's Hot, What's Not" lists... in fact all stupid lists - I mean what's the fucking point?
• Excessive and totally unnecessary use of expletives
• Self indulgent blogging (pseudo intellectual, self congratulatory cyber masturbation)

That 's it for now...

Who is Squirrelmungous?

He is, to put it simply the ONE TRUE GOD.

He has laser eyes to strike down the unbelievers... that would be you probably.

Anyhoo, here's a picture of the great squirrelmungous smiting down unbelievers and profaners.

Look at those lasers. This isn't one of your stupid 'faith based' religions, pal. This is for real and here's your proof. Are you scared now? Have you begun to repent for your years of ignorance and false idolatory?

Squirrelmungous may forgive you. For he is mightily benificent. Just make sure to call out 'Hail squirrelmungous!' whenever you see one of his earthly avatars - that would be a squirrel right - and don't forget to 'donate' some tasty nuts and seeds and stuff to these avatars as and when you get the chance. Don't give 'em Wotsits though. Makes 'em a bit fat.